it's been a while since i wrote consistently here. and a lot has changed since those times. i am usually in denial - always wanting to continue from where i've left of. but in those spaces where i stop writing, i've changed and the circumstances have evolved.
personally, i've closed the chapter on one relationship and started another - could this be the final chapter? i guess it's just the way it is - we've both grown and found that we're both looking forward to a different end with different perspectives. like all relationships, we take the good and the bad and make the best of it.
professionally, i've changed my status and i'm being pulled by the tide. it's been a while since i've had control of my working life (have i ever been in control?). i'm now based in the yangon, myanmar. and although i've only been here for 4 months, i could already be coming to the end of my hitch here. 2010 has been a good year, 2011 was a reality check. i wonder what's in store for 2012?
amongst my friends, my best friends are getting married - the last of them, jacky, would be getting married next year. ly is already expecting a child this october. it's great to see we're capable of being grown ups despite all of our foolishness when we were younger.
i would love to write more about the places that i've been to this year - yangon and paris. but i found neither the time nor the words to describe those places. i'll try but with no guarantees.
i am in desperate need to rediscover my drive. to have the passion and desire in my heart again. i've been drained emotionally this year. trying to rediscover myself and failing time and again to understand what is lacking in me. at times, i've lost sight of what i am chasing.
but all is not lost. it's not as bleak as it sounds. my pillars of hope and strength is as close to my heart as ever. writing this post is only the first step. this will be a new chapter and i hope it will be filled with as many adventures as my mind and soul could endure.
5 comments:
Nic, it has been a while since i read something as honest as this from you. :) It's not a bad thing to start anew. SOmething better is always beckoning around the corner.
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I love the way you write, you can tell that your body, mind and spirit are in sync when your pen flows. I think you would appreciate this quote...... "The written word is the manifestation of a person's thoughts. We can therefore perceive the essence of a person's heart though his writings. As a rule, we can perceive the qualitative level of a person's mind through his writings due to the principle of the oneness of mind and body. If this is so, then a person's writings are the manifestations of the oneness of his mind and body."
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